when great expectations go wrong

there's a school of thought who says that you will get it when you least expect it and there's another one who says that you will get it when you always think about it to attract it. it does work to some material things. but to immaterial mundane things like love, it's not the case. it's not the world of star wars, love can't be forced and never will be. 

my symptom of assertiveness and short longing kicks in. a spoiled brat syndrome who always wants to get what she wants. i realized that i'm only making myself suffer. hoping for something that's not there. every time. it's an old story repeating itself. enlightenment sinked in to stop. i should focus on the things that i'm supposed to be doing.

i believe in God's mysterious ways. maybe or maybe not he will give me this time. of course it depends on the course of action i will be taking. so i say chill for when it vapors, i'll be able to savor and taste that gift.