wanted: hotness in 2009

everybody as in everybody is telling me to lose the fat. i'm thankful that some people care even if it's the freaking truth that hurts. sometimes i just want to have an invisible cloak so they won't notice me. i came to the point where i don't fucking care if i gain weight. but in this part of the world i am moving in, sad as it is, is an issue. 

i watched the movie, "my mom's new boyfriend" earlier starring meg ryan. she's an obese lady and is depressed with her single motherhood life. her son, henry, an fbi agent, will be away for work. so at the airport after seeing her son leave, she sat on the floor weeping with food all over her and when she's going to drink her cup, a man thrown a coin at her thinking she's a beggar. it sinked in to her that she needs change. after 3 yrs, when henry came back, her mom is hot. 

so back to me, how the hell am i going back to my once upon a time 36-26-36 vitals? i shouldn't view it as a struggle. it's going to be hard work, discipline and determination.  

i love her

here's the thing. for 2009, i need to change my lifestyle. get up early, go to aerobics class or run the treadmill for at least 30 minutes, do at least 100 crunches a day, then add weight-lifting for at least thrice a week. for sure i'll feel better and happier. my problem is, i just love to eat. i enjoy food too much. it's not gluttony but i just simply love good food. i should psych myself that instead of dining out, i should dine in to save money. this means lessen the alcohol, night outs and sleep early. i can't order my favorite cocktail drink anymore. shift to red wine or kurant (gin and tonic). go semi-vegetarian meaning i can eat anything except red meat. shift from white rice to wheat bread. etcetera. i know the works. i'm just too lazy. so focus on the goal.

          

doing the groceries earlier with the low-fat items in my cart is a big step. congrats to step 1. step 2 is implementing all that idea and step 3 is maintenance. i once became a southbeach follower that i made my own recipes til i got fed up. i didn't stick with step 3. why does it seem so difficult? someone told me to have an eye candy so i can be inspired. but i disagreed. i'm not doing this for anyone but for myself. i owe it to me. i'm the type of woman who just loves challenge. so 2009, game on!