this thing called hormones

i was undergoing depression the few days back. feeling like the universe is acting up against me. i wasn't happy at all. i felt like all endeavors that i do is a struggle. my life is pretty much complicated, i think. balancing work, school and life in general. and when i get criticized for something or feeling like a loss i feel bad. 

i wrote a class paper about my enneagram, that being a number 3 when unhealthy, becomes depressed and withdraws herself from people. and that's what i've been doing. i pretty much stopped writing because i had to keep everything to myself.  i seem to have it all but deep inside i'm broken. 

now i don't want to hide. i'm embracing everything what God and the universe wants me to have and do and take it as it is. i know that everything happens for a reason with my predicament now. i'm at my job because for something. i'm getting my education perhaps to know myself and have a direction in life. i'm single because the best it yet to come. my family is on verge of the lowest of low because i have to be strong and mature. 

this year, my resolution is to be more humble, continue search for peace, serenity and love. this year i want to fall in love given it's reciprocated. i don't want to repeat a vicious cycle that would only bring me pain. this year, i'll be a better person and this year, i will be fabulous. i will reach my target weight goal by march. this year is my year of blossoming. this year i will look more beautiful than ever. 

i just found out it's my first day. ah this thing called estrogen.